By Thomas Jaunism
Everyone feigned contentment. She stood in the middle of the room and drowned in voices of people she didn't know. She didn't care about them. She'd had enough of this shit. She thought 'those little fuckers' and she felt bad for swearing in her head. A voice told her it was OK to be 'fucked off'. She should give that cheeky one a smack around the ears.
She remembered how much she loved Antoine. She imagined resting her head on his lap in the sun. Another voice told her to 'snap out out of it'.
She thought of what she would cook for dinner and how she couldn't be bothered cooking tonight, or tomorrow night...and how she couldn't remember the last time she was happy, or if she'd ever been happy.
She tried to recall how she ended up in this room and why she was always pleasant to everyone. She forgot why she smiled at strangers and made small talk with her colleagues.
Her hands were red, cold and frail. She detested her hands. She felt the mole on the left side of her face and hated her parents. She wished she could go home and watch TV dramas with her mother.
She searched for something to look forward to. She saw days turn into years and all of them lonely. She was completely inside herself now. The sadness turned to sobbing and she did nothing to stop the tears.
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Tuesday 15 February 2011
"How to be a foreign artist in France during the 2010 winter - III" - The online chat edition...
Thomas: Hey. I've been asked to write a letter for amplifier
Lake: don't they sell our stuff?
Tj: It's there but no one buys it.
L: Should I give up?
Tj: Maybe. Remember what Syd said: “you shouldn't try and be what you can't be”
Or what about trying to sound more like those electronic tunes I see on music blogs.
L: Yeah I love that shit
Tj: are you taking the piss
?
L: No. It seriously makes me feel closer to the future I believed in when I was kid.
I still have a hope for that future.
Tj: You still writing folk/pop tunes?
L: Ostensibly... I just wait for gold to arrive
when it does i'm overwhelmed by the beauty of creation.
You still on that crusade against overwrought prose and banal minimalism?
Tj: Clearly
L: As much as I'm all about electronic 'tricks' and fancy production, I still believe in the power of 'the song' and it's manifestation in 'the sing-along'. We're always going to need songs that sing our stories to a strumable rhythm and a humable tune...
Tj: ok ...
L: As technology begins to permeate every facet of our lives, the way we interact changes. Our personal relationships start and are maintained with digital tools. Interactions with our communities and the world at large are increasingly reliant on new forms of communication. Our lives are spent earning a living, loving each other, and hanging out, in ways that would not have been possible 50 years ago. Thus, as has always been the case, we need songs that draw upon our contemporary lexicon. Songs that soothe pains we have felt. Songs that talk of times we recognise. Songs that sing -not of a future that never came to pass- but of a future we are part of creating.
Lake: don't they sell our stuff?
Tj: It's there but no one buys it.
L: Should I give up?
Tj: Maybe. Remember what Syd said: “you shouldn't try and be what you can't be”
Or what about trying to sound more like those electronic tunes I see on music blogs.
L: Yeah I love that shit
Tj: are you taking the piss
?
L: No. It seriously makes me feel closer to the future I believed in when I was kid.
I still have a hope for that future.
Tj: You still writing folk/pop tunes?
L: Ostensibly... I just wait for gold to arrive
when it does i'm overwhelmed by the beauty of creation.
You still on that crusade against overwrought prose and banal minimalism?
Tj: Clearly
L: As much as I'm all about electronic 'tricks' and fancy production, I still believe in the power of 'the song' and it's manifestation in 'the sing-along'. We're always going to need songs that sing our stories to a strumable rhythm and a humable tune...
Tj: ok ...
L: As technology begins to permeate every facet of our lives, the way we interact changes. Our personal relationships start and are maintained with digital tools. Interactions with our communities and the world at large are increasingly reliant on new forms of communication. Our lives are spent earning a living, loving each other, and hanging out, in ways that would not have been possible 50 years ago. Thus, as has always been the case, we need songs that draw upon our contemporary lexicon. Songs that soothe pains we have felt. Songs that talk of times we recognise. Songs that sing -not of a future that never came to pass- but of a future we are part of creating.
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